Smash Bros Endurance
by justmegaman
Summary: Kidnapped by a wimpy Koopa, eight teams of Super Smash Bros. characters must compete in a reality show. Rated K Plus for undetailed violence and downright insanity.
1. Chewed Up Spuds Will Keep Us Together

_I enjoy writing this one. I won't waste too much time on the rules, as you can just look up the rules of Endurance, but I will give a simple description throughout. Also, I know Krystal isn't a Smash Bros. character, but I thought it wouldn't really make sense to have a rabid bird, and just two girls didn't seem like enough, so I threw her in. I really hope you enjoy. Reviews would be great! _

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Smash Bros. It is the property of Nintendo, Masahiro Sakurai, and Sora. I also don't own Endurance, which belongs to Discovery Kids._

**Day 1:**

"Am...am I free?" he asked himself, filling to the brim with excitement. He felt his neck.

"You're still chained, dog!"

"NOOOOO!"

"Can I STAB anyone? Is anyone here STABable?"

"You could, I guess."

"AW, YEAH!"

"Hey! Don't touch me with that thing!"

"Please get me. I want to die. My life is a vortex of swirling, awful pain that consumes me every day. It's awful. So awful. So, so awful. So, so, so aw-"

"HAPPY!"

"Falcooooon TALK! This is cool. We are moving!"

"Moving is just putting your feet along while hurting. Hurting as deeply as humanly possible."

"Oh, shut u-"

"HAPPY!"

"Don't touch me. I'm a psycho."

"I'm sure you're just fi-"

"ROAR ATTACK ATTACK RABID BITE"

"Agh! You bit me!"

"I'm hungry."

"Me too."

"I feel like...grilled mouse."

"Ah...ah ha haaa..." the one who spoke here scooted away from his companion uncomfortably.

"I think I just saw a Nazi."

"Nazi? WHERE IS THE NAZI? IS HE ALSO A COMMUNIST? MEMBER OF AL QAEDA?"

"Get him."

"WAIT! I'm just a poor, chained, chubby Italian man! Don't-a hurt me!"

"DO NOT TOUCH MY SLAVE, UNWORTHY ONE."

"All right, you freaks, time to get out!"

The cover on the wagon was torn off, and an assortment of people could be seen. From a blonde, pink-wearing princess holding a metal leash that chained a chubby Italian in overalls to a man in a blue jumpsuit and red helmet with a wolf in human-like clothes, it was full of strange appearances. Everyone slowly climbed out onto the murky grass, the plumber being dragged out by the princess. Two tall cabins one could get to through ladders were in the distance, as well as a man-made fire pit. Eight colored poles, with triangular pieces of wood mounted on each of them, stood about twenty yards behind the one who had spoken.

"A'right, you probably don't know where you are," the Koopa Troopa who had freed them stated, adjusting his sunglasses. He was an upright turtle-like animal, bearing a red shell, sunglasses, and an unpleasant frown. "I'll explain to ya. This is Endurance. I've stolen ya all from da Smash Castle, and you're gonna compete here for sixteen days. Got it?"

No one questioned him. Being captured from their homelands to compete in fighting tournaments had made them used to these sorts of things.

"Good," the Troopa said simply. "Now, we'll be competing in challenges that can get us pyramid pieces, which are crucial. There'll also be Temple missions, but I'll explain those later."

"Wait, you're not going to tell us anything else?" Zelda probed, staring at him incredulously. "This is all you're going to tell us?"

"Yep, pretty much," Leo confirmed, as Link walked up to him.

"Can I stab you?" Link asked creepily.

Silence.

"Um...NO. Ya stupid!" the Troopa yelled.

"I'm going to stab you," Link stated. "Now."

He thrusted his sword forward, making the Troopa leap out of the way.

"Agh! Are you insane?" it asked with wide eyes. "Ya don't STAB da host! Idiot!"

"STAAAAB."

"Gah! Get it AWAY!" the Troopa shouted, running away as Link pursued him. Everyone else watched in minor interest.

"A bagel on the turtle." Kirby betted.

"Three strips of bacon on Link." Yoshi challenged.

"Crap," Kirby replied, frowning. "Too rich for my blood. I'm pulling out." Wolf just stared.

"Raaagghhhhh," Krystal snarled, looking around hungrily. "Snaaaaaaaaggghhhhhh! Haaaaaaarrrr!"

"Don't touch her; she's a psycho." Fox reminded them.

Eventually, Link cracked the Troopa's shell. After patching himself up with a band-aid and a failed attempt to take Link's sword (in which his weak underbelly was nearly stabbed), he introduced himself as Leo and told everyone what teams they were on.

"Peach and...Mario, you're Red," Leo stated, indicating a red pole containing the Leadership pyramid piece. Two red t-shirts laid at the base of it. "Take that, 'kay? You start with Leadership, and put on them there t-shirts, too."

The duo did as asked, Mario sulkily trotting alongside Peach and slipping his t-shirt on by, weirdly, stepping into it.

"Uh...why are you doing that?" Pikachu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The leash never comes off," Mario said matter-of-factly. "I must always keep it on."

"...Yeah," Leo said uncaringly. "Kirby and Yoshi, you're Blue," He directed them to a blue pole using his index finger. "and you have Luck."

Kirby waddled alongside a slower-than-normal Yoshi, and the duo put on their t-shirts and Kirby took the pyramid piece.

"Oh, it's just my size!" Kirby exclaimed, looking down brightly at the wide, but short shirt. Yoshi rolled his eyes.

"Pikachu and Charizard, you're Yellow," Leo told them. "Yellow pole, Perserverance piece."

The two complied, and as Kirby's was, they had t-shirts appropriate to their sizes. Charizard laughed at what their piece was.

"Ah ha ha!" Charizard cackled, grinning evilly. "The mouse will NEED perserverance when I cook hi-"

Everyone stared at Charizard.

Charizard looked back awkwardly. "When I, uh...HUG him!" Charizard grabbed Pikachu off the ground and held him to his chest. "Come here, little buddy! I just love you so much! You're so fun!"

Pikachu stared at Charizard's tan belly, horrified.

"Link and Zelda, you're Green and you have Courage." Leo spoke up.

"Oh," Zelda said, before laughing. "That's pretty funny how much that fi-"

"Oh, never mind, you're KARMA, not COURAGE," Leo stated, correcting himself. "Sorry, I misspelled."

"How do you mistake karma for courage?" Zelda asked, staring at Leo in disbelief as she and Link walked to the Green pole.

"Well, because courage is spelled k-a-r-a-j-e," Leo informed her, enunciating each syllable. "Duh."

Zelda just shook her head as she slipped her t-shirt on, and Link stabbed the pole.

"Fox and Krystal, you're Orange and you have Trust." Leo said smartly.

"But Krystal can't be trusted at all (don't touch her; she's a psycho)," Fox argued. "so how does that work?"

"Look, I don't pick the stupid pieces," Leo replied. "Take yer complaints up with the author/producer."

"DUMB AUTHOR/PRODUCER!" Fox yelled, looking upwards and shaking his fist at the sky.

"Graaar." Krystal roared.

"Snake and Meta Knight, you are Purple," said Leo. "Take the t-shirts and Knowledge."

"Knowledge?" Snake questioned, getting up in Leo's face. "DO YOU HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF OSAMA? TELL ME WHERE HE IS. _I SAID TELL MEEE!_"

Leo backed away uncomfortably. "Um...I really don't know about Osa-"

"TERRORIST!" Snake screamed, before slinking away to put on his t-shirt. Leo twitched.

"Pit and Toon Link, you're Gray and you have Heart." Leo told the aforementioned.

"Gray...I feel gray inside," Pit lamented, looking completely downcast. "Heart...my heart is broken into a trillion small pieces. Gray pieces."

"HAAAAPPYYYYY!" Toon Link shouted, skipping to the pole.

"Finally, we have the Brown team, Wolf and Falcon," Leo stated, pointing to the final pole in the row of them, the brown one. "Your piece is Commitment."

"FALCOOOOOON RUN!" Falcon yelled, sprinting ahead with his arms swinging back and forth. "HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP HUP!"

"Aaaaghhh," Wolf sighed exaggeratedly, trudging behind Falcon as his feet squished on dewy grass that barely covered the muck beneath.

"All right, we'll meet at this spot in three hours for the first challenge," Leo announced, turning toward the teams to look at all of them. "In the meantime, you can get used to your surroundings."

Everyone slowly nodded, letting their fate sink in as Leo ran off into the trees, waving goodbye.

"Soooo...I guess the girls get one cabin, the boys get another?" Fox suggested, looking around to check for any objections.

"How about we have 'em be...co-ed?" Falcon asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Zelda, who groaned in disgust. "Falcoooooooon FLIRT!"

"Yes, I agree," Peach spoke out, pointing to a sitting Mario as she did. "My slave must be with me at all times! He may run off if he isn't!"

Mario whimpered in response, pulling a file out of his pocket and trying to grind away the chain leash.

"There's only three girls, anyway," Meta Knight noted, adding his two cents. "Just put Falcon in a cabin that isn't Zelda's, and put Mario and Peach and Fox and Krystal in hers so the girls can be together."

Eventually, it was worked out that Cabin 1 would contain Red, Green, Orange and Gray, and Cabin 2 would house Blue, Yellow, Purple and Brown.

* * *

In Cabin 2...

"Why can't I be with Zelda?" Falcon asked, pouting and crossing his arms. There were only four bunks, and he sat on one with Charizard, whose head couldn't be seen as he couldn't be bothered to crouch down.

"I'd rather not say what you would probably do to her." Pikachu replied, lazily relaxing on the bottom bunk he was sharing with Meta Knight.

"We should play a game," Yoshi chimed in, eating a hoagie while he did. "What should we play?"

"SHOOT THE INFIDELS."

Everyone stared at Snake.

"I have guns we can use," he told them calmly, as if that were the problem.

"...How about we just throw rocks at me and Charizard while we fly around?" Meta Knight stated, looking at Snake warily. "That good?"

"...Okay." Snake said.

* * *

In Cabin 1...

"Why don't we play a game, guys?" Zelda said brightly, managing a smile.

"How about 'Die'?" Pit suggested, staring at the floor, his wings looking like wilted flowers as they lazily hung at his sides. "In it, you live for a short while, then die. Oh wait, we are already playing."

Everyone stared at him weirdly.

"Um...yeah," was all Zelda could think of to say in response.

It was silent for a while, before a deafening roar was heard outside. Everyone except Pit ran to the window, as Pit slowly trudged there. Outside, they saw a flying Charizard burning Wolf, who had just hit him with a rock, to a crisp.

"What are they doing?" Fox questioned, leaning forward further.

"They're...playing a game!" Zelda proclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Pit, you go out there and play with them. It'll be fun!"

"Just what are they doing?" Pit asked, looking over at them in an amount of interest unusual for him (meaning, he looked mostly the same).

"They're throwing rocks at the ones who can fly, I-a think," Mario told him, looking out the window glumly.

"Rocks?" Pit asked, suddenly perking up. "My pain may be removed if I receive a fatal blow...I am going out there!" Pit separated his bow and slashed open the netting covering the window, hopped up on the sill, and jumped into the sky, quickly picking up a wind current and soaring on it.

"That's the HAPPYYYY spirit, Pit!" Toon Link yelled after his partner, grinning.

"Hey, it's that gloomy guy from Gray team," Pikachu noted, pointing up to his position in the sky. "Should we get him?"

"Nah," replied Falcon. "Let's ignore him! Falcoooooooooooon IGNORE!"

"...'kay?"

Pit watched on in frustration as no one tried to nail him with a rock. How could they? Stop getting the dragon and get him! He wouldn't burn them! He'd thank them!

"Hey, Snake!" Meta Knight cried, twirling through the sky. He had yet to be hit due to his smooth flying and, in turn, smooth dodging.

"Huh?" Snake called out, looking up towards Meta Knight.

"That guy right there," Meta Knight pointed to Pit. "he's a Nazi!"

"NAZI?" Snake grabbed a boulder and threw it at Pit. "DIIIIIEEEEE, NAZI!"

"AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Pit fell to the ground, only a twitchy leg and a partially flattened wing sticking out from underneath the boulder.

"WHYYYY? WHY CAN'T I JUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE?" Pit screamed, flailing his leg wildly.

The rest of Cabin 2 climbed down their ladder and joined in the rock throwing before long, while Toon Link made a useless attempt to free Pit.

"Leave me to die, old friend!" Pit requested, his voice as dramatic as if he were Jack Dawson from Titanic. "I can't go on! It's pointless!"

"N...no!" Toon Link insisted, heaving madly as he attempted to push the boulder aside. "I...can...do...t-this!"

"Leave me!"

"NO!"

"Leave me!"

"NO!"

"Leave me!"

"NO!"

"Leave m-"

Angry Reader: GET BACK TO THE ROCKS!

_AN: Well, geez._

Krystal's rabid insanity made her arms look like a couple of whirlwinds that were constantly flinging out a steady stream of rocks. Meta Knight's armor had been chipped once, even, and Krystal had needed to dodge many a Flamethrower.

"Just looking at Krystal makes me feel tired," Zelda commented, looking over at Krystal with a sort of envious pity. "Hey, Link, what are you doing?"

Link was holding his sword back behind his shoulder, squinting into the sky. Using a hand that was not clutching his sword's hilt, he was using his index finger to...aim, it seemed.

"Link?" Zelda asked cautiously, walking towards him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna use my sword instead of a rock," was his answer.

"Are you insane?" she asked, widening her eyes. "You could seriously hurt one of them!"

Link didn't answer.

"Link?"

Link put the sword back further.

"Link?"

Link threw the sword at Charizard.

"LIIIINNK!"

"RAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!"

Everyone quickly noticed that Link's sword had grazed Charizard's side, drawing slight blood. Link threw his pointy hat to the ground.

"Ah, man!" he shouted, kicking up some dirt. "Indirect hit! I didn't get him!"

Zelda just stared at him incredulously.

Charizard was about to immolate Link when a cry was heard from nearby.

"Hey, guys!"

Everyone turned toward the noise to see Leo nearby, smiling devilishly.

"Come on back to the poles!" he requested, cupping a hand over his mouth. "It's time for the challenge!"

* * *

A short while later...

Eight lanes, divided by painted white lines, were created out on the grass near the poles, and the head of each lane was a fairly thick, long rope. At the end of each lane stood a dummy made out of...mashed potatoes?

"Hello, there, everyone." Leo said cheerfully, waving. Kirby and Yoshi gasped when they saw the mashed potato dummies, and then looked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kirby asked, smiling hungrily.

"Aw, yeah!" Yoshi confirmed, but the duo was halted by Leo before they could make a mad dash to the potatoes.

"Hey, hey, hey, lemme explain the rules first," he requested, scowling at them. They fell back in line with the others.

"A'right, good." Leo stated, pleased with himself as he looked over the teams. "Now, welcome to the first challenge; or, going by official terms, the first Endurance mission. You guys are gonna be tied together by these ropes, so you'll essentially be moving as one person.

"You'll move down your lane to your dummy at the end. Now, here comes the fun part. First, you get to eat the dummy..."

"YEEEEAAAHHHH!" Kirby and Yoshi shouted simultaneously, pumping their fists into the air.

"...then you throw up what you've eaten into your partner's mouth."

"HUH?"

"You have to eat at least one-fourth, and your partner eats the rest," said Leo. "Whoever ate more throws up their share into their partner's mouth, than the partner throws it back up into their mouth, and then they spit it out on the grass. Are we good? Good. The winning team gets the Teamwork piece," Leo pointed to a basic wooden totem pole with the piece mounted on it. "and the Samahdi, which gives a disadvantage to one team in tomorrow's Temple mission. You can pick whoever you want to have it."

"Just WASTE food like that?" Yoshi asked, eyes wide. "Are you stupid, man? Are you mentally disabled?"

"I am making a stand against appetite discrimination!" Kirby proclaimed, putting one foot on a nearby rock and bringing his arm to his body as if he he putting his fist to his chest. "No longer will we of the hungry ones take this tyranny! We will rise up against our rulers and bring them down, become their equals! Can we do it? Yes, we ca-"

Suddenly, Kirby heard a loud snarling sound behind him, and slowly turned to face Crazy Hand, who was foaming at the fingertips and and somehow had slobber protruding from his knuckles.

"Ummm...I'll let myself be discriminated a little longer." Kirby said meekly, quickly getting out of his stance and falling back in line. Crazy Hand was pulled back into a cage behind the poles.

"All right, almost time to start." Leo announced.

After a short while, all the teams were tied up together, being placed at the lanes in order, from Red to Brown.

"All right!" Leo shouted, stepping backwards until he was a fair distance behind the teams and lanes. "For the Teamwork piece, and the Samahdi...GO!"

Everyone started running, except for Yellow. Although Pikachu tried to get them started, Charizard just sat there lazily and chewed on his claws, and Pikachu was far from a match for Charizard's girth.

"C'mon, Char, let's get going!" Pikachu requested, looking up desperately at the enormous orange dragon.

"Meh." Charizard answered, snapping off the end of one claw.

"Aaaaggghhhhh!"

Peach dragged Mario along, pulling tightly on his leash even though they were tied next to each other. She nearly had to hop to go at the speed she wanted to, as Mario was barely able to even keep up with her.

"P-Peach!" Mario shouted, gasping for breath. "Mama mia! Slow down-a!" Although they were in 2nd, the leash was choking him, and so he didn't exactly have time to relish in their lead.

"I'll slow down when I feel like LOSING, slave!" Peach retorted, kicking Mario's shins to speed him up. "And I don't! So how about you just pick up the pace? It'll make it seem less agonizing!"

Mario whimpered and tried to run faster, though it was difficult due to the rope keeping him literally right next to Peach.

Kirby and Yoshi ran as fast as they could, desperately wanting the potatoes though they'd have to throw them up. They were ahead of Mario and Peach and thus the leaders.

"Hey...Yoshi, I've got an idea!" Kirby spoke up, smiling evilly.

"What?"

"They can't punish us for just not doing the challenge." Kirby noted. "So let's throw the stupid challenge, and keep those delicious potatoes in our bellies!"

"I was planning to do that anyway." Yoshi said passively, shrugging.

"Well, it's still a good plan." Kirby claimed, waving Yoshi's comments off.

Link and Zelda walked along at a modest pace, and were currently in 5th. Link seemed twitchy, likely due to the fact that he hadn't stabbed anything for a good fifteen minutes, and Zelda was attempting to deal with it.

"We have to speed up, Link." Zelda informed him, pointing to the others ahead of them. "We have to win this challenge and get that pyramid piece! Not only that, I want to make sure that we don't get nailed with the Samahdi!"

"Whatever, Zelda." Link answered, not increasing his speed.

"Come ON, Link!" Zelda exclaimed, sighing exasperatedly. Before long, she began to run on her own, leaving Link to have his feet dragging on the grass.

"Hey, hold up, Zelda!" Link shouted, flailing a bit. "Slow down!"

"No way!"

"Do it!" Link reached for his sword and held it up threateningly.

"You WOULDN'T," she said gravely, slightly frightened.

"I WOULD," he responded, pulling it back a little further as Zelda skidded to a stop.

"That's better." Link sheathed his sword.

Fox was going at a good speed, but Krystal was very uneven, at times trudging along slowly, and at others sprinting like an insane person (remember not to touch her; still a psycho, people).

"Krystal, pick a pace!" Fox complained, rubbing his shoulder with some difficulty. Krystal had just bumped into him after a mad dash, and was now back to slow.

Krystal thought that over for a moment, and then decided she would, returning to an insane sprint.

"SOMETHING SLOWER!" Fox screamed, being painfully dragged as they went into 3rd place, passing Purple.

"Hey! They just passed us!" Meta Knight yelled, his eyes slitting in anger.

"Were they Al Qaeda members?" Snake whispered, putting his mouth to the side of Meta Knight's mask to ask the question.

"N---yes, yes, they were." Meta Knight replied, smiling devilishly behind his mask.

"TERRORISSSSSSSTS!" Snake yelled, hugely increasing his speed to catch up to Fox and Krystal.

"Eh?" Fox asked, looking over his shoulder. His eyes immediately widened when he saw Snake charging towards him in the next lane, trying to grab the pistol holstered at his side.

"Pick up the pace, Krystal!" Fox requested, turning to her. She did so, running at maximum speed. She was now at equal footing with Kirby and Yoshi, but Snake was faster still, passing both teams and trying to block Fox and Krystal from proceeding. Fox screeched, and Krystal jumped into their lane, pulling Fox along with her.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Leo shouted, running over and breaking it up before a fight could start. All of the teams stopped walking/half-running to listen. "No going off course! The Orange team is disqualified!"

"WHAT?" Fox asked, gawking. Krystal just snarled.

"Sorry, but you guys have to go in the cage with Crazy Hand." Leo ordered, crossing his arms.

"What? No! No! NO!" Fox pleaded, dropping to his knees and making Krystal lean downwards in his direction. "Don't do that! He's even crazier than Krystal!"

"Sorry, buddy," was all Leo had to say as Crazy Hand came floating up, clumsily untying them and carrying them to the cage. Krystal, strangely, squealed in delight.

"NOOOOOOO!" Fox screamed, beating his fists against Crazy Hand's back. The challenge quickly resumed once Fox and Krystal were inside the cage and began to be mauled.

Toon Link was the only one moving due to Pit not even trying to do so, so they were accordingly in 6th, which was basically last since Yellow still hadn't even started yet.

"Let's move HAAAAPYYYYY, Pit!" Toon Link exclaimed, trying to get him walking.

"What is the point?" Pit asked, looking at Toon Link lazily. "We are not going to win, anyway...we'll suffer much pain if we try and lose. So let's just not try and lose."

"You're so dull!" Toon Link shouted, inching along with the burden of Pit's weight.

Kirby and Yoshi had made it to their dummy in the craziness of Fox and Krystal being disqualified, and were now eating it.

"Aw, man, this is delectable!" Yoshi yelled, licking his chops quickly before downing the last bite.

"Soooo goooood," drawled Kirby.

"Well, cool." Leo stated. "Now throw up."

They didn't.

"...? Throw it up!"

Yoshi licked his chops again.

"You guys aren't going to win if you don't throw it up!"

They both looked at each other, and then shrugged.

"AAAGGHHHH!" Leo screamed, gripping his head. "Crazy Hand! Come and throw 'em in the cage!"

"Eh?" they asked simultaneously. Crazy Hand floated up, still foaming at the fingers. Krystal rode on his back, grinning evilly, and Fox was being crushed between two knuckles, gasping for breath.

"H-hey," Fox began, coughing. "what are you in for?"

Everyone quickly resumed once Kirby and Yoshi's screams faded into grunts of pain.

Wolf lumbered along while Falcon strode at a nimble pace. Now that Link had slowed down further, they were in 3rd, and were gaining on Purple.

"We'll get you, Purple team!" Falcon proclaimed, dramatically pointing to them as he did. "We'll get you and kick your butts! And then we'll win! Ah ha ha! Falcoooooooon THREAT!"

"Yeah, right!" Meta Knight called back, smirking arrogantly under his mask. "What are you gonna do? Talk us to death?"

"Eh?" Falcon asked, scratching his head with his free, not binded arm.

"Do you HEAR yourself?" Meta Knight questioned, not turning from them. "Falcoooooooooon TALK! Raptor BOOST! Falcooooooooooooooooooooon PAUNCH!"

"Hey! Don't make fun of my awesome phrases!" Falcon ordered, grimacing angrily.

"Falcoooooooooon RUN! Falcooooooooon KICK! Falcoooooooooon SEE!" Meta Knight continued, causing Link to snicker in the nearby lane.

"RAAAAAAAAA!" Falcon yelled, kicking Wolf to speed him up. "We gotta beat those guys! They can't win this argument!"

While Wolf bickered with Falcon over why he hit him, Mario and Peach had reached their dummy.

"Eat it, tubbo!" Peach demanded, shoving the potatoes down Mario's throat. While Mario at least enjoyed the food, he would rather breathe than eat, and he flailed wildly in an attempt to get Peach to stop.

"EAT!" Peach screamed, slowly eating potatoes herself as she began pouring them down Mario's throat.

After a short while, the esophaguses of both of them filled with mashed potatoes.

"Throw it up!" Peach ordered, leaning back and opening Mario's mouth, as well as hers. "Throw the stupid potatoes up!"

"But I-"

Peach punched Mario's stomach, making him hurl. After he did, Peach threw them back up into his mouth and he swiftly spit them out.

"Looks like Red wins!" Leo announced, holding up the queasy pair's hands. Everyone but Purple and Gray cheered.

"What? NO!" Meta Knight yelled, shocked. He and Snake had just reached their dummy, and Wolf was angry as well; he and Falcon were incredibly close to theirs.

"Sorry, that's the breaks." Leo told them, shrugging. "Better luck next time, nice try, all that jazz."

"NO! WE SHALL WIIIIIN!" Snake yelled, and quickly ate almost the entire dummy, quickly feeding the rest to Meta Knight. They threw the potatoes up into each other's mouths about twenty times before Meta Knight spit it out.

"Wow!" Leo exclaimed, grinning. "That's amazing dedication! Never mind, Purple wins!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Peach asked loudly, horrified. Mario gave a weak "Huh. How about that."

"Well, everyone, it's over." Leo stated, before cupping his hands over his mouth and yelling towards the cage, "HEY, CRAZY HAND! BRING 'EM BACK!"

The rabid, floating gloved hand complied and dumped Kirby, Yoshi, and Fox on the ground. Krystal jumped off his back and saluted him as he went back to the cage.

"That...was...a-awful," was all Kirby could say. Fox and Yoshi just lay on the ground, breathing heavily.

"Well, glad to see you had fun!" Leo said cheerfully. He handed the Samahdi and Teamwork piece to Purple. "A'ight, we'll meet back here in about an hour, where Purple will give one team the Samahdi. See ya then." Leo waved to everyone before running back into the woods.

Silence.

"HEY! YOU FORGOT TO UNTIE US!"

* * *

At the camp...

Meta Knight and Snake sat behind the cabins in a peaceful clearing, thinking about who to give the Samahdi to.

"All right, who should we pick?" Meta Knight asked thoughtfully, looking up at the sky. "Red looks like a threat, but they could help us later on...uh...Yellow, Green and Brown could be slight challenges...let's go with Yellow."

"Yellow? What's wrong with Yellow?" Snake asked suspiciously, flipping his head around to face Meta Knight while sharpening a knife.

"Um..." Meta Knight prolonged, mulling over how he could fool Snake. "...Charizard is a secret bomber. From...Sparta."

"Then we MUST give it to Yellow!" Snake suddenly declared, standing up and holding the Samahdi high. "Don't mess with the U.S, Romans!"

"....Yeah. Don't mess with the U.S." Meta Knight repeated unenthusiastically.

"Gee, I wonder who they're gonna give it to?" Toon Link wondered, bouncing on his bunk in Cabin 1.

"Probably us." Pit said depressedly. "My life is just a large scream of excruciating pain and betrayal, after all."

"That's cool." Toon Link replied, getting some nice air. "Woohoo!"

"We have to make sure we're not the victims of the Samahdi!" Peach declared, chomping on a coconut. They were inside the cabin as well. "Slave! Go incapacitate the Purple team!"

"No."

"....WHAT?"

"No. I don't wanna. " Mario repeated, attempting to sleep.

Peach stared at him, her left eyebrow twitching madly. "You WILL."

"I won't."

"You WILL."

"I won't."

"You W-"

Peach slumped to the ground with a small gasp. Snake stood behind her with an extended fist, laughing. Mario stared uncomfortably.

"Bye," was all Snake said as he left. Mario just whimpered and wet his pants. Fox snickered.

"Hey, guys, we should make a pact." Wolf suggested, laying on his bunk in Cabin 1, with everyone but Purple accompanying him. "We should aim to get Orange out of here. We can all vote them out or something."

"Why? Falcoooooooooon QUESTION!" Falcon asked.

"Because Fox is going to dupe us all!" Wolf claimed, staring at Falcon as if he were crazy to question him. "He'll gain our trust, and then stomp on it! Stomp on it until it dies a few times, gets broken ribs, dies again, and turns into a pothole!" Everyone stared at him.

"I'm telling the truth!" he shouted frantically.

"A'right, we'll get Orange," grumbled Pikachu.

"Mweh heh heh...perfect!" Wolf cackled, rubbing his furry hands together.

* * *

"All right, I hope you've come to a decision, Purple team." Leo stated, looking at the standing duo casually. 16 stumps had been prepared in the clearing that contained the poles, and every team (except the standing Purple) was sitting next to each other. Krystal mumbled and snarled at random intervals, and Yoshi hummed a soft tune to himself. For whatever reason, Leo gave a faint chuckle at Yoshi.

"Yes, we have decided!" Snake confirmed, saluting Leo and gripping the Samahdi to his side stiffly.

"'Kay, cool," was Leo's reaction.

"We shall give it TOOOOO..." Snake pointed his finger straight at Pikachu and Charizard. "...YELLOW! TAKE THAT, SPARTA!"

"Sparta?" Pikachu asked lazily, quickly perking up when the Samahdi bonked him in the head. "HEY! What was that for?"

"For BOMBING!" Snake yelled, staring at Charizard hatefully.

"We aren't bombers!" Pikachu argued, scrunching his tiny face up in rage.

"Just keep telling yourself that," whispered Snake. Pikachu just shook his head as Snake silently returned to his seat.

"Open the Samahdi, Charizard." Leo ordered. Charizard complied, headbutting the clay pot open. A small metal patch fell out, sticking to Pikachu's knee.

"Eh? What's this?" Pikachu asked curiously, pointing to the patch.

"Sing." Leo commanded. Pikachu was very, very confused, but did it anyway.

"SOMEWHERE!" Everyone gasped/sighed.

"H...how beautiful!" Kirby sniffed, wiping a tear away.

"HAPPYYYYYYYYYY!" Toon Link wailed, burying his face into his hands.

"Um...put it on your neck." Leo said, dumbstruck. Pikachu did so, and sang yet again.

"SOMEWHERE!"

"AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed, except for Leo, who cringed, and Pikachu, who heard his regular singing voice.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Pikachu asked, looking around in confusion.

"Y...your VOICE!" Fox screamed, covering his ears. "It's horrifying!"

"That is a De-Voiceifier." Leo informed Pikachu, who raised an eyebrow at Fox's words. "Keep it on until after tomorrow's Temple mission. You'll understand why you got it soon enough."

"Um...okay?" Pikachu said, not having a clue what the "De-Voiceifier" was supposed to do. After that, everyone was ordered to go back to camp and get some rest, which they did.

_The challenges and Temple missions are being split into different chapters, as there's no need to drag this out even further. I'm really sorry it's so long (It's over 5000! ....;P). I hope you enjoyed it, though, and reviews would be incredible!_

_~Stay awesome_


	2. Do I Make You Cry

_Thanks for the positive comments, guys. I really appreciate it, and I hope you appreciate this chapter. ;) _

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the copyrighted franchises mentioned. They are the properties of their respective owners.**

**Day 2:**

"Turn that thing OFF!" Fox screamed, muffling his ears with his pillow. Toon Link ignored him, continuing to clean Cabin 1 with the personal item he had brought; a Dust Buster. Peach looked absolutely livid, Mario and Pit didn't care, and everyone else was miffed but tried not to say anything…well, except for Fox.

"This cabin is filthy, though." Toon Link reminded him, quickly cleansing a corner of harmful bacteria.

"I'd rather live in filth than wake up at FIVE FREAKING A.M BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS A NEAT FREAK!" Fox yelled, his face tinting purple. Toon Link gave a small "hmph" and kept going.

"Guess what my personal item is?" Fox asked, in an unhinged sort of way. He grabbed his blaster from his waist and pointed it.

"Don't," whispered a horrified Toon Link.

"Oh, yes!" Fox insisted, twitching crazily.

"Don't do it! Please, no!" Toon Link requested, shaking his head swiftly.

"HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!" Fox cackled, shooting his weapon with a "SHOOOM."

Silence.

"MY DUST BUSTER!" Toon Link bawled, burying his face in his hands and breaking out in loud sobs.

"Oh, just GREAT, Fox." Link said sarcastically. "I REALLY enjoy listening to non-stop crying."

"Oh, shut it." Fox retorted, grabbing his bunk's blanket from Link and snuggling into it.

In Cabin 2…

"Man, it's great, havin' an all-guy cabin an' all," Falcon said lazily, lying on his back on the floor and clutching an empty soda can. "Just us guys, doin'…uh…guyly things, as guys!"

"Shut up." Yoshi snipped, his mouth smeared with pinkish-red. "I'm trying to apply this lipstick."

Everyone stared.

"What?"

Outside…

"HEY, EVERYBODY!" Leo yelled, waving to the cabins. "It's time for the Temple mission! Come on out!"

Everyone did as commanded, their expressions varying from tired to intense. They all noticed that a huge wooden stage was set up here, making most of the pairs of eyes widen. Two microphone stands, with the appropriate item inside of both, were set up there. Leo grinned at their reactions.

"Today, we'll be doing…SMAAAAASH IDOL!" Leo announced, pushing his sunglasses up afterwards.

"What?" Pikachu asked loudly, gaping. "But…this thing!" He pointed to the small metal dot on his neck.

"This is more of an 'Aha!' moment than a 'What?' moment." Leo noted, a bit dissatisfied.

"But…but that isn't fair!" Pikachu exclaimed frantically, clenching his tiny fists and waving them in the air.

"Life's not fair, pal." Leo informed Pikachu, looking at him skeptically.

"That's a cliché!" Pikachu yelled in response.

"Clichés aren't fair, pal." Leo answered.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Pikachu claimed, waving his fists again and puffing his cheeks up in anger.

Silence.

Leo punched Pikachu.

Pikachu prepared to Thunderbolt Leo.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Leo yelled. "You can give it to Charizard!" Pikachu smiled, climbing up Charizard's rough back and sticking the De-Voiceifier to his neck.

"Now that we've gotten that taken care of, let's get down to business." Leo began. "Every team gets three minutes to pick a song, and practice it, if you want. I'll judge your performances, and pick a top four; you get one minute to pick another song, and sing that. I'll narrow it down to a final two, and both teams will sing a song that I pick. Whoever I think does it better gets to pick two teams to go to the Temple of Fate, where those teams will compete to see who goes home and who doesn't.

Wolf: Heh heh heh…that's even better than voting people out! By the way, why have there been no interviews until now?

Cameraman: …Shut up.

"Well, I guess I'll give you guys your three minutes." Leo stated, before waving to them and running off into the trees, as per usual.

"Mwee hee hee…we shall sing Peachalicious, slave!" Peach shouted at Mario, who groaned loudly in response.

"Not Peachalicious!" Mario moaned, burying his face in his hands. "I hate that one!"

"We're going to sing Peachalicious! If you complain, I'll put the taser on you!" Peach threatened, making Mario recoil and nod in compliance. Peach smirked triumphantly.

"OOOOHHHH, I know what we can do!" Kirby shouted, before waddling over to Yoshi and whispering into his ear. Yoshi's eyes widened in excitement, and he quickly turned to Kirby and nodded wildly. Kirby grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. (AN: Or stumps-up…or…arms-up? What the crap does Kirby have coming out of his sides, anyway?)

"Let's HAAPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYY sing a HAPPY song, Pit!" Toon Link suggested, waving Pit's arm.

"No."

"YEAH!"

"No."

"YEAH!"

"No."

"YEAH!"

"No."

"NO!"

"No. Glad we agree." Toon Link was crestfallen.

"But…but…that always works for Bugs Bunny!" Toon Link cried.

"Good try." Pit said emotionlessly. It was obvious to anyone (except for Toon Link) that they were empty words.

"HOORAAAAYYYYY! Let's sing the HAPPY HAAAPPPPPYYYYYYYY song!" Toon Link yelled. Pit shook his head, but Toon Link ignored him.

"Are there any songs about stabbing people? With sharp, pointy knives?" Link asked thoughtfully, looking up at the sky and rubbing his chin. Zelda stared at him uncomfortably.

"Maybe we could write a theme song for Jason Voorhees or something," she suggested.

"That's perfect!" Link shouted, grinning madly. "We'll craft our own beautiful music! Beautiful music of sharp death and agony!" Zelda just shook her head.

"All right, my gorgeous voice will be perfect for our song. We'll do _Nessun dorma_." Pikachu said matter-of-factly, smirking. Charizard scratched his head, having no idea what that meant.

"Charizard the Burninator?" Charizard asked.

"No, we're not doing Charizard the Burninator." Pikachu said angrily, clenching his fists.

Charizard growled and peeled the De-Voiceifier off of his neck, and then coughed up a tube of Super Glue. He proceeded to grin evilly at Pikachu, who laughed nervously.

"Uh…Char? You okay?" he asked warily, slowly backing away. Charizard approached him.

"Char?" Pikachu asked loudly, panicked.

Charizard pinned him down, squeezing a huge blob of Super Glue onto his neck.

"CHARIZARD!"

"WE MUST SING A SONG THAT DOES NOT APPROVE OF TERRORISM." Snake said, standing with his arms at his sides stiffly. "I SUGGEST THE BALLAD OF THE SOCIETY THAT HUNTS TERRORISTS."

"No," dismissed an irritated Meta Knight. "We can sing a-"

"WHAT?" Snake asked, a vein popping out of his forehead. "WE WILL SING THE SOCIETY'S SONG! _IS THAT CLEAR, SOLDIER?"_

Meta Knight stared at his teammate uncomfortably. "…Sure."

"GOOD." Snake said approvingly, giving a ghost of a smile.

"FALCOOOOOOOOOON SING!" Falcon shouted happily, before righting himself. "Uh, I mean…FALCOOOOOOOOOON DECIDE WHAT TO SING!"

"We should sing a song from Powerman 5000, or Slipknot," Wolf said thoughtfully. "Or I guess we could go with a classic. Iron Man or Alice Cooper or something like that."

"How about a dance song?" Falcon suggested, grinning widely. "Like, Flashdance….WHAT A FEELIN'!"

Wolf just stared at him incredulously.

"Or, like, Celebration, or, like, Thriller, or, like, Oops I Did It Aga-"

"Stop, just stop," begged Wolf. "Just the names of those songs are murdering my soul."

"Falcoooooooooooon HUH?" Falcon asked, scratching his head. "But…those songs are awesome! Falcoooooooooooon awesome, even!"

"One, please stop saying 'Falcooooooooooon.'" Meta Knight began. "Two, Thriller is like a magnificently sharp cheese grater slowly grinding my ears into pulp-like dust compared to One's melodious chords. You obviously have no taste in music, crap-for-brains."

"Eh?" Falcon asked angrily, retracting his fist. "FALCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON PAUNCH!"

Falcon's arm went into flames as he punched Wolf in the face, sending Wolf flying into a vine-ridden oak tree. Everyone else stopped their conversations to take the time to stare, with the exception of Peach, who was nagging Mario as per usual.

"….Owwwwww."

Everyone went back to their conversations as Falcon strolled up to Wolf, grinning smugly.

"Well, you nice and warm in that hole, Wolf?" Falcon asked, leaning his face towards Wolf's tauntingly. "Good job at totally getting owned by my pun-"

Wolf kicked Falcon in the groin.

"AUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!"

* * *

Leo cleared his throat as he trotted up to the front of the wooden stage erected in front of the teams' cabins, quickly grabbing the first microphone stand when he reached it, tapping the microphone that it held.

"Testing, testing, one, two, three." Leo stated mechanically, before clearing his throat and yet again and slapping on a flashy grin.

"Helloooooo, ladies and gentlemen!" Leo shouted, flicking his eyes around at a non-existent audience. "Today I welcome you to…Smaaaaaaaaaaaash Idol! Yes, we have an excellent batch of contestants today that are raring to go! Prepare to cheer in utter amazement!" He held his arms up as he imagined an audience clapping and whooping in excitement, before he walked away, whispering "Or you'll laugh in utter disbelief," as he did. He proceeded to take the only seat behind a rectangular white table that sat in front of the stage, coughing and taking on a bored expression.

"First up we have the Red team, Mario and Peach." Leo drawled, placing his chin on his fist. Mario and Peach climbed onto the stage, Peach curtsying politely and Mario bowing in a forced manner, before they began.

(AN: Singing is signified by script format and italics, just to get it cleared up now.)

_Mario: Now listen up, y'all, 'cause this it  
The beat I'm layin' is DELICIOUS  
Peach: Peachalicious, definition  
Make them slaves go crazy  
They want my command  
So they-  
Mario: NO I DON'T  
*record scratch*_

Silence.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SLAVE?" Peach asked, on the brink of exploding with rage.

"I'm sorry, I had to make a point!" Mario whined, curling up into the fetal position and sucking his thumb. "Please don't hurt meeeee!"

"SLAAAAAAVE!" Peach screeched, holding up a palm to strike him when Crazy Hand grabbed them both from behind, carrying them to his cage quickly. Leo waited for Mario's screams and whimpers to become fairly quiet before calling out "Blue, it's your turn."

Leo gave the duo a strange look as he saw them walking up to the pair of microphones dressed in bagel costumes. However, he didn't ask any questions as they began to sing.

_Yoshi: Oh, pastry, you're filled with  
Yoshi and Kirby: Cheese and sugar  
Cheese and sugar  
Yoshi: With the texture *spins and dips Kirby*  
Kirby: Of a booger! *stands upright*  
Yoshi and Kirby: Oh, pastryyyyy  
Oh, pastryyyyyyy  
Oh, pastryyyyyyyyyyyyyy! *both grin and bow as background music ends*_

Leo, filled with utter shock, just muttered "Fine, you're in the Top 4," as he rubbed his sweaty forehead. Kirby and Yoshi cheered, high fived, and scampered off the stage. Leo shook his head to refocus himself before calling Yellow to the stage.

"Welp, I guess this is it." Pikachu commented, as Leo glanced uncomfortably at the De-Voiceifier crudely glued to his short neck. Both he and Charizard cleared their throats and began, not bothering with the microphones.

_Pikachu: CHARIZAAAAAAAARD  
CHARIZAAAAAAAAAAARD  
Charizard: Charizard is a man  
I mean, he is a Pokemanz  
Or maybe he's just a fire/flying dragon-like Pokemooon  
But he is still  
Pikachu and Charizard: CHARIZAAAAAAAAAAARD  
CHARIZAAAAAAAAAAAARD  
Charizard: Burninating the Pallet Town  
Burninating the homeless  
Burninating all the peoples  
Pikachu: And their thatched-roof SPLIT-LEVEEEEEELS  
Thatched-roof SPLIT-LEVEEEEEEEELS_

Leo rubbed his chin in consideration for a few seconds, before shrugging carelessly. "Oh, what the hey? You pass." Pikachu and Charizard belly bumped (which ended with Charizard flying after Pikachu and picking him up), and then went back behind the stage, as Leo called Green over.

"Prepare!" Link yelled, cackling despicably after he did so. Leo furrowed his brow, leaning forward in interest as Link took out a chainsaw, roughly sharpening his sword. Zelda reluctantly took a kitchen knife out of her pocket and sharpened it on the chainsaw, and they began singing.

(AN: Parentheses are spoken parts.)

_Link (creepily) and Zelda (uncomfortably): We live and we learn to take  
One stab at a time  
Remember to rush  
It's like Norman Bates' mother  
Or Psycho's main guy (Zelda: Wait, aren't they from the same movie? Link: Shut up.)  
You're gonna stab a guy and  
You won't feel guilty but  
The one rule that's divine  
Is to take it one stab a ti-_

Link attempted to chainsaw Crazy Hand in half as he grabbed him and Zelda before they could finish, but it was useless.

Link: How DARE they! My performance was a work of art! That dumb hand doesn't know what he's talking abou-

*Crazy Hand floats threateningly close*

Link: CRAZY HAND IS THE BEST GUY EVER AND IS SO AWESOME. YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A BETTER-PAYING TORTURING JOB WITH DECENT FLAT WAGES AND WORKING CONDITIONS FIT FOR A DECAPITATED HEAD, NOT JUST A DECAPITATED HAND.

*Crazy Hand floats away approvingly, and Link sighs in relief*

"Orange!" Leo shouted, leaning his head towards the stage again so they could hear him better. "ORANGE! Come on!"

No reply.

"ORAAAAAANGE!" Leo screamed, cupping his hands over his mouth.

Some crickets chirped.

"Wait, there aren't supposed to be crickets out yet!" Leo shouted, looking up to the sky angrily.

(AN: Shut up or I'll replace you with a Mary Sue.)

Leo grumbled hatefully.

"That's it," said a grumpy Leo, rising from his seat. "I'll go get those twits myself."

Leo stomped over to the small area behind the stage, looking over at Orange. Krystal was snoring loudly, and Fox was sucking his thumb, frowning frustratedly. The other teams were assembled in random places around the area.

"Why the crap aren't you coming on stage?" Leo asked heatedly, gritting his teeth.

"If I try to wake Krystal up, she bites me," answered Fox.

Krystal randomly snarled, and Fox jumped back with a whimper. Leo facepalmed.

"Purple, just come on." Leo said passively, waving for the aforementioned to follow him back to the stage. They did so, though Snake had to be pulled away from his methodic destruction of a fire ant hill.

"Watch our absolute defiance of terrorists!" Snake screamed, pointing to Leo intensely. Leo was too exasperated to react uncomfortably. Snake shrugged, and Purple began.

_Snake: All you professional killers better stay away  
Long as I'm a protector of United States of A  
Meta Knight: United States of Aaaaaaaaaa  
Snake: Quit makin' your bombs  
'Cause you won't get very far  
I will bust your face up  
AND MAKE YOU EAT TAAAAAAR  
MAKE YOU EAT TAAAAAAAAAAAR_

For possibly the first time, both members on a team remained fairly stoic as they were carried away, though Meta Knight glared at Snake the whole way to Crazy Hand's cage, while Snake just yelled "THE SOCIETY RUUUUUULES!"

Before Leo could call Gray, Toon Link ran up on stage giddily, dragging Pit along by his arm.

"Let's go!" Toon Link shouted excitedly, slowly rocking back and forth, and making Pit do the same due to his grip on the latter's arm.

_Toon Link: Hello, world, there's a song that we're singing  
Come on, get happyyyyyyy  
Pit: (monotonously) A whole lotta lovin' is what we'll be bringin'  
Come on, get happyyyyy  
Toon Link and Pit: We'll make you happyyyyyyy_

"Wow! Great spirit!" Leo proclaimed, grinning. Toon Link gasped in sheer glee, as Pit shrugged in neutrality.

"I'm passing you."

Leo's eardrums were nearly busted from Toon Link's scream of happiness.

"OhmigoshISOOOOOOOOcan'tbelievethisthisissogreatIcan'tbelieveI'mpassinghowcouldthishappentome?Idon'tknowbutI'mrealhappyaren'tyouhapHAAAAAAAAAAPPPYYYYYYYYYYPit?" Toon Link said….or....asked…or….something?

"I guess," was Pit's only reply as Toon Link didn't give him much time to answer, dragging him offstage so they could give a speech to the other teams.

"Brown, you're the last ones!" Leo hollered, cupping his hands over his mouth. "Come on up!"

Falcon sauntered onto the stage, Wolf following behind him casually. Falcon struck a dramatic pose, and Wolf, sighing angrily, did the same thing.

Falcon: You can't stop US  
Cause at the end of the DAY  
We'll still be singin' our SOOOOOONG  
Falcon and Wolf: We're gonna be gone for long  
OH YESIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
We won't see you you for long  
YEAHSIREEEEEEEEEE

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Stop screaming, Falcon." Wolf said irritably.

"Yeahsiree?" Leo asked to no one in particular, before shaking his head and forgetting about it. "Well, I WAS going to pick a top four, but Brown sucked so much that I just couldn't bring myself to do that. So, we have a final three instead, without narrowing it down to a final two; Blue, Yellow, and Gray!"

The three teams walked on to the stage, Toon Link waving enthusiastically to an imaginary crowd and mouthing "Hi, mom." Captain Falcon saluted to this same make-up crowd, and Kirby, Yoshi, Wolf and Pit didn't do anything, as Kirby and Yoshi were pre-occupied by the fudge they were eating (AN: Don't ask me what it's made of.), and Wolf and Pit didn't care.

"All right, Blue, you sing right now; you others hop off the stage and wait your turn." Leo stated, waving Yellow and Gray off. Kirby and Yoshi grabbed the microphones and slapped on huge, obnoxious grins, despite the fact that Kirby didn't have any teeth, and began;

_Kirby: Come with us  
For you must  
Taste this  
Beautiful concoction  
What you'll eat  
Will defy  
Kirby and Yoshi: Toilet auctions_

"GO AWAY." Leo said, thoroughly creeped out. Crazy Hand grabbed the duo and carried them to his cage, as they kept eating their…**special **fudge.

"Gray, Yellow, just sing one after the other." Leo said, absolutely exasperated. "I'll make my decision after I hear you both."

Toon Link bounded onto stage, dragging Pit with him. They began, Toon Link grinning from ear to ear and Pit looking completely downcast. You know, the usual.

_Toon Link: Well, lemme tell ya a story 'bout a man named Jed  
The poor pioneer barely kept his family fed  
And then one day he was shootin' at some food  
And up through the ground came a bubblin' ooze  
Pit: *once again, monotonously* Oil, that is  
Black gold, texas tea  
Toon Link: Well, before you know it, ol' Jed's a millionaire  
The home folk said, "Jed, move away from there!"  
They said, "California is the place you oughta be!"  
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly  
Pit: Hills, that is  
Swimmin' pools, movie stars_

Leo sighed in frustration before saying unenthusiastically, "Okay, fine, you win."

"HOLYOMGZOF!" Toon Link screeched, bouncing up and down, attaining sick air in the meantime. Pit's eyes followed his leaping in a bored way.

"Hey hey hey!" Pikachu shouted, scowling furiously. "We didn't even get to try! This is hardly fair at all!" Charizard snorted in agreement.

Leo whistled. Within a few seconds, the other teams were released and Yellow was receiving an extra long beating.

"A'right, Gray gets to decide who goes to the Temple of Fate. Good luck…not." And with that, Leo sprinted off into the woods, for the kajillionth time. A severely bruised Yellow was released from Crazy Hand's cage, and the teams headed back to the cabins, either trudging, striding, or skipping, depending on who it was.

In Cabin 1…

"Um…Toon Link?" Link asked, tension and worry enveloping him.

"Yeah, what is it?" he replied giddily, swinging his head to Link quickly.

"Me and Zelda…you're not sending us to, uh…the Temple of Fate, are you?" he questioned, sweating bullets. Toon Link stared at him weirdly.

"Man, dude, it's just a question." Toon Link reminded him, scooting further across his bunk. "I think I might HAPPPPYYYYYY send you there after all. You're kinda weird."

"WHAT?" Link asked loudly, twitching madly. Toon Link hopped off his bed, running to the door and climbing down to the grass. Link foamed at the mouth and had a muscle spasm.

"Oh." Pit said casually, looking down at Link.

Pause.

"I guess that isn't good."

Silence.

Pit went back to reading "Emo Weekly."

In Cabin 2…

"All right, one of us has to convince Gray to send Orange to the Temple!" Wolf announced, standing in the middle of the cabin with his hands held up high. "Any takers?"

Nobody answered, until Pikachu pointed to Wolf and said, "I think YOU should do it."

"Me? Why me?" Wolf asked, angered.

"Well, you're kinda the one who's obsessing over getting rid of Orange. The rest of us don't care." Pikachu informed him.

"That's insane!" Wolf scoffed, flipping his palm at Pikachu. "Everybody cares but you, you silly little mouse! Everybody who's dedicated to getting rid of the Orange team, raise your hand!"

Nobody raised their hand.

"…Everybody who cares about getting rid of the Orange team, raise your hand!"

Nobody raised their hand.

"…Anybody who cares at ALL about getting rid of ANYONE, raise your hand."

After some hesitation, Falcon raised his hand.

"Ah, yes! Falcon? Who do you want to go?" Wolf asked, grinning like a shark.

"Well, I kinda wanna go home." Falcon said stupidly. "I mean, I like this tight jumpsuit and all, but it's starting to FALCOOOOOOOOOOOON CHAFE!"

Wolf didn't know whether to scream out of rage or gag from how grossed he was. He did both.

* * *

All eight teams slowly trotted into the area with the poles, and saw that sixteen stumps had been set up in front of the poles, just as they had for the Samahdi yesterday. Everyone sat down, all next to their teammates. Leo stood in front of them, smiling at each of them. Upon seeing how grumpy/irritable everyone but Pit and Toon Link looked, he cut it out.

"Uh…well, let's get down to business." Leo said, trying to sound stark and official. "Gray, have you made your decision?"

"Yes, indeed." Toon Link said brightly. "Pit, you wanna tell him?"

Pit shrugged, clearing his throat. All of the teams leaned closer towards him, holding their breath.

"We picked…

DRAMATIC PAUSE

DRAMATIC PAUSE

DRAMATIC PAUSE

DRAMATIC PAUSE

DRAMATIC PAUSE

…Orange and Brown."

"FALCOOOOOOOOOOON disappointed." Falcon said dejectedly, before holding a fist up and scowling. "NO, WAIT! FALCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! LEMME AT 'EM! _LET ME FREAKIN' AT 'EM!"_

"Hey, Falcon, wait a min-" Leo began, but didn't have time to finish, because Falcon decided to elbow him in the face before leaping towards Pit and beginning to wring his neck.

"GYAH! STOP IIIIIT!" Toon Link whined, trying to grab Falcon's arms from Pit's neck, to no avail.

"Ow," was all Pit said, in the little breath he had.

"CRAZY HAAAAAAAAAND!" Leo screeched, cupping a hand over his mouth. Crazy Hand grabbed Falcon from behind and squeezed him until he stopped.

"FALCOOOOOOOOOON OWIEEEEE!" Falcon yelled squirming and turning red. "STOOOOOOP IIIIT!"

Crazy Hand did, and Falcon rubbed his arm, muttering, "Falcoooooon gonna kill that dumb hand."

"All right, no reason to waste time." Leo stated, turning around and gesturing for Orange and Brown to follow him, despite Krystal's hiss at his back. "You guys, grab your pyramid pieces and follow me. The rest of you, head back to camp and wait for one team to come back. That's the one that didn't suck and lose."

Leo stalked off into the woods, and Fox, Krystal, Wolf and Falcon followed him, pushing aside twigs, vines, leaves, and whatever else got in their way, until they caught up to him. Everyone else did as they were told, heading back to the cabins, as Toon Link stared uncomfortably at the huge bruise on Pit's neck that Pit was completely ignoring.

* * *

Fox, Wolf, and Falcon all dropped their jaws when they reached a lake, and three inflatable pool mattresses lay on the edge of the shore, a wooden oar lying on each. Out on the water, a huge, altar-like construction, made of cardboard, floated unsteadily on the calm ripples in the water.

"Head for the temple!" Leo commanded, stumbling onto his mattress and beginning to row out onto the water.

"The stupid thing is made out of cardboard! I'm not getting onto it!" Fox complained, and Krystal snarled angrily in agreement.

"It's perfectly sturdy!" Leo argued, standing his ground.

Part of a pillar on the temple fell off.

Silence.

"That part was defective!" Leo claimed, before rowing faster to get away from the teams. Wolf shrugged and flopped down the mattress, taking his team's pyramid piece with him, Falcon sitting down beside him. Though the middle drooped from their combined weight, it was larger than usual ones, and so held them as Wolf rowed furiously, trying to get to the temple as fast as possible.

Fox clambered onto the mattress and picked up the oar, but Krystal bit his wrist, making him jump back and yelp. Krystal took the oar, and began rowing out without Fox.

"HEY! HEEEEEEYYYYY!" Fox yelled, waving his hands. "KRYSTAL, COME BACK!"

Krystal barked at him.

"I'll swim." Fox said meekly.

* * *

"All right, guys," said Leo. "Let's get started."

They were all standing on the cardboard temple, Orange and Brown across from each other, Leo in the background, grabbing two maracas from the floor and holding them at his sides. There was a block-like table, a bit like an altar, separating Orange and Brown, and Leo stood behind the altar. Fox had nearly drowned ten feet out into the water due to the depth, and Leo had begrudgingly come back and taken him on his own mattress.

"We'll be playing a simple game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, because we couldn't pay for the whole Fire-Water-Wood shtick." Leo said matter-of-factly. "I'll do a ritual to start a game between Fox and Wolf, and then one between Krystal and Falcon. If it's not over by then in a two out of three win, the two losers from both teams will do one. If there's a draw in any match, we'll redo until somebody wins. 'Kay? 'Kay. Now let's go."

Fox and Wolf moved just barely closer to each other; Fox smirked grimly at his rival, and Wolf scowled at Fox in response.

Leo held up the maracas, shaking them as he spoke in a bit of a rhythmic nature.

"Rooooock paper scissors, SHOOT SHOOT! Rock paper scissors, SHOOT SHOOOOOT!" Fox and Wolf thrust their hands forward; Fox had rock, and Wolf had scissors. Wolf growled, and Fox grinned in triumph.

"One win for Orange. If Krystal wins this next one, Brown's gone." Leo said enigmatically. Falcon gulped as he and Krystal rose their hands in preparation. Leo repeated his ritual; Krystal had paper, and Falcon had…

Scissors. Falcon pumped his fist in the air, and Krystal snarled venomously.

"Looks like it's Wolf vs. Krystal. Whoever wins goes back. Whoever loses doesn't."

Wolf and Krystal both rose their hands. Wolf flashed a smile, and Krystal clawed him in the face; making him yelp like a girl.

Leo redid his ritual, and the results were…

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Wolf with paper, Krystal with rock. Krystal howled in rage, raising her claw in the air. Leo laughed nervously, and Crazy Hand floated up to her out of nowhere and calmed her down, completely confusing Fox, Wolf, and Falcon. Krystal just pouted and growled under her breath as Crazy Hand flew away.

"Sorry, Orange, but you're the first team to be eliminated." Leo told them, in an uncharacteristically serious tone.

"So…I guess a boat's coming to take us home?" Fox asked, looking off into the distance.

"Well, actually, all those trips on a boat cost way too much, so I figured everyone who's eliminated could just…stay here while I extend the temple to make room." Leo informed him.

"WHAT?" Fox asked, eyes widening to the max. "How are we gonna survive? What is this thing even made of, other than cardboard?"

"First, there's a roof for rain, and you can just spear fish and stuff." Leo reasoned. "Second, waterproof glue ain't cheap. I'm doing you a favor, doing the extensions myself! You should thank-" Leo gagged in mid-sentence, as Krystal grabbed him by the neck and shook him, roaring all the while.

"H-help!" Leo breathed, waving to Wolf and Falcon. "Help!"

"Gotcha!" Falcon said happily, pulling his fist back. "Falcoooooooooon PAUNCH!" Krystal was knocked into the water, and by the time she climbed back on, Leo, Wolf and Falcon were long gone, having taken Fox and Krystal's mattress with them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Fox screamed.

Krystal shrugged and started nibbling some cardboard.

_Songs used/parodied:_

_Red: Song 1: Parody of "Fergalicious," Fergie  
Blue: Song 1: Part of "Oh, Pastry" from Dave the Barbarian, Song 2: Parody of "Pure Imagination" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory  
Yellow: Song 1: Parody of "Trogdor" from Homestar Runner  
Green: Song 1: Parody of "One Step at a Time," Jordin Sparks  
Purple: Song 1: Original song.  
Gray: Song 1: "Come On, Get Happy," The Partridge Family, Song 2: "The Ballad of Jed Clampett" from The Beverly Hillbillies  
Brown: Song 1: Original song, though I technically parodied all those songs I hear that say "we won't be gone for long" or some spin on it._

_I hope you guys like this one; I tried to make it just as funny (if not funnier) than the last one. Thanks again for all the reviews, and always remember to_

_~Stay awesome_


	3. You Raise Sticks Up

**Day 3:**

Mario yawned loudly and stretched his arms, sitting up from the floor, until Peach tightened her hold on his leash, making his face turn blue.

"You woke me up with that yawn, slave!" Peach shouted, looking at him angrily. "Do that again and I'll put the leash on your stomach again!"

"N-no!" Mario yelled, waving his palms wildly from side to side. "I…I d-don't want th-that!"

"Then go back to sleep!" Peach demanded, before loosening her hold and falling back to her pillow. Mario fell to his own, one that he had constructed out of bird poop and twigs, and grumbled sadly as he went back into Slumberland.

"Urgh! Who yelled?" Link asked, looking around curiously. Everyone but Mario and Peach rose their heads, as Peach's shouting had awoken them all.

"I think it was the creepy blonde and the skuzzy little fat dude!" Zelda pointed out, as everyone turned their heads to Peach's sleeping form.

"I enjoy sleep." Pit said, in his typical monotone, soft voice. "It gives me an escape from the pained agony and sorrow that holds me down every single day of my pitiful life. As Edgar Allan Poe once stated-"

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Link yelled, throwing his pillow at Pit's head. Pit let the back of his head hit the wall due to the pillow's impact, and his head dislodged a board from the cabin. In the next second, he saw the sky instead of his bed.

"…Ow."

In Cabin 2…

"Hey, guys!" Kirby piped up, hopping up from his pillow. "I just heard a crashing sound! Maybe a helicopter crash landed here or the Hulk came to save us or something!"

"Seriously?" Pikachu asked excitedly, leaping off his bunk. Charizard let out a stream of fire as he yawned and flew off into the sky, roaring.

"Let's go check it out!" Wolf exclaimed, jumping off his top bunk and climbing down the ladder out of the cabin with the speed of a monkey.

"Aw, crap it!" Wolf yelled, as he saw Pit's head staring into space. "That emo angel freak just busted a board in his cabin! Nobody's here!" A collective groan sounded out of Cabin 2.

"Hey! Quit with the yelling!" Link shouted, leaning outside the Cabin 1 door and glaring angrily at Wolf.

"YOU QUIT FIRST, IJIT!" Wolf screamed, waving a fist and giving a look full of absolute rage at Link.

"H-hey, guys, let's just calm down, okay?" Zelda asked nervously, walking up next to Link and looking down awkwardly at Wolf.

"NO WAY!" Wolf yelled back at Zelda, before returning his eyes to Link. "NOW IT'S WAR, YOU SKIRT-WEARIN' PANSY! I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN!"

"SKIRT-WEARING PANSY?" Link gasped, horror etched on his face, before turning back to rage. "You're the one that's going down, um…um…Wolf...O'Moron…or…YOU'RE GAY!"

"WE'LL SEE WHO'S GAY!" Wolf retorted, before stomping back to the ladder leading to his cabin and climbing back up to the door.

"You idiot!" Meta Knight accused, as a steaming Wolf gruffly flopped onto his bunk and turned away from the armored blob. "How could you do that? Green is a challenge threat! If they win the Temple mission, you're being sent there again for sure!"

"I say me and Falcon are better at challenges," mumbled Wolf. "I'M gonna send THEM home. You'll see."

"I didn't think it was a really good move, either." Pikachu piped in. "Link's probably strong, and Zelda's really smart. If it's some kind of strength test or quiz, you're going home for sure."

"Pshaw!" Falcon scoffed, grinning dumbly. "No way can skirt boy over there beat these FALCOOOOOOOOON PIPES!" Falcon held up his arms, flexing his biceps obnoxiously in various poses.

Meta Knight shook his head and kept whittling a bar of soap into a bear with his tiny sword. Snake shook and twitched angrily as Falcon showed off his muscles.

"YOU ARE SUCH A POSER." Snake claimed, catching everyone's attention as he pointed at Falcon. "THOSE MUSCLES ARE PATHETIC FOR FIGHTING NAZIS. ARE _YOU_ A NAZI? _DON'T EVEN ARGUE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE!_"

Falcon looked over at Snake uncomfortably as Snake leapt towards him, grabbing him and putting him in a full nelson.

"OOOOWWWWWWWWW!" Falcon screeched, trying to loosen Snake's hold.

"SAY YOU ARE A NAZI!"

"WHAT?"

"SAY YOU'RE A NAZIIIIIII!"

"I…I…I WON'T!"

"_SAY YOU ARE A NAZI OR I WILL SHOVE A TAR-COVERED KNIFE DOWN YOUR THROAT!"_

"I'M A NAZI!" Falcon shouted, as Snake finally let go and jumped to the floor upon hearing it, satisfied. "Falcoooooon gosh, man!" Snake grunted in answering.

"Well, I say that we enter another pact!" Wolf declared. "We got lucky last time, because Gray wanted Orange gone, too; but this time, we MUST get rid of Green!"

"Huh?" Kirby asked, as he inhaled a crumpled pile of dead bugs. "I kinda wanna send Gray home. I mean, they stole our win away at the Temple mission!" Kirby puffed up in anger.

"Hey, hey, calm down!" Yoshi exclaimed, frowning worriedly and waving his hands in front of Kirby's face. "Don't you remember what happened last time you puffed up?"

Kirby grumbled angrily, crossing his arms. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big explosion, beef everywhere." Pikachu stared at him strangely.

"But, yeah, I agree." Yoshi said, turning to Wolf. "We should oust Gray."

"Pffff! Forget it!" Wolf replied, shaking his head. "Trust me, dropping Green is the best thing we can do. Come on, you HAVE to agree with me! They're a big threat, and they're obviously volatile. I mean, it's not like _I _started that fight!" Meta Knight snickered.

"Come on; are we all in this together?" Wolf asked, looking around the room. "I mean, not as in the High School Musical song?"

After a few seconds of pondering, everyone slowly nodded their heads, with the exception of Snake, who saluted Wolf and shouted, "AFFIRMATIVE, SIR!"

"Nyeck nyeck nyeck…perfect!" Wolf cackled.

* * *

"This time, we MUST get rid of Brown!" Link announced, smiling smugly. "They'll go home for sure; I mean, they already went to Temple once! It's perfect!"

"Look, I'm all for getting rid of those weirdos," began Zelda, trying to be the voice of reason in Cabin 1's group. "But isn't it a smarter idea to get rid of Purple? They're obviously a bigger threat, and Meta Knight seems pretty smart. Plus, Snake is just…creepy."

"I want Purple gone as well!" Peach yelled, putting a fist up. "Those insolent pups stole a win from me at the first challenge…I MUST GET REVENGE!" Mario gave a glum, half-hearted nod in agreement.

"Pshaw! You guys don't know anything!" Link exclaimed, flipping the back of his hand at them and scoffing. "It's definitely the best strategy to get Brown out of this game! They're an easy target!" Link's face turned a sort of crazyish-serious. "Plus, if you don't send Brown to Temple if you win the Temple mission I'll skewer your face."

Silence.

"…Sure. Let's go for Brown." Zelda said slowly, thoroughly creeped out.

"Hee hee hee! Awesome!" Link giggled, rubbing his hands together.

* * *

"All right, teams, come on out!" Leo called, making motions with his hands that indicated for everyone to come. Charizard soared down to the ground, and Cabin 2's inhabitants poured down their ladder afterwards. Cabin 1 came out immediately following.

"A'kay, let's get down to business." Leo began, taking his sunglasses off and shoving them in his shell. Everyone noticed the pile of sticks behind him. "Today, everyone will hold a stick. Whoever holds it the longest clinches the Discipline pyramid piece for their team and the right to give someone the Samahdi."

"We're just holding sticks?" Pikachu asked incredulously.

"This is a HAPPPYYYYYY cool challHAPPenge." Toon Link noted, grinning in excitement.

"This is too simple for my dictator/princess skills!" Peach complained, staring hatefully at the sticks. "We need a better challenge, you imbecile!"

"Oh, believe me, this one is hard." Leo said in amusement, stepping back so the stick pile was clearly visible to all the teams. "Now, everyone grab a stick." Though there was some hesitation among most of them, everyone eventually grabbed a stick, all of them clutching it in different ways.

"TWENTY SEVEN, TWENTY EIGHT, TWENTY NINE, TWENTY TEN, TWENTY ELEVEN…" Snake counted, lifting his stick over and over like a barbell.

"Stab! Stab! Stab!" Link shouted, performing the action on a Wolf dummy made out of leaves and dirt.

"Vaudeville!" Pikachu yelled randomly, balancing on the stick on one foot and crouching down so as to hold it with one paw.

"All right, you've all gotten a grip on your sticks?" Leo asked, looking around. Everyone answered with a resounding "Yes."

"'Kay, then. Ready…set…GA-GOOOO!"

"FALCOOOOOOOOOOOOON GOOOOO!" Falcon shouted, jumping into the air and yelling "RAPTOR BOOST!"

"Hey, wait!" Leo exclaimed, holding his palms up. "I didn't mean it as in, like, start a match in Super Smash Bros.!"

But it was too late. Falcon instantly knocked down Meta Knight and Zelda, and while he aimed for Pikachu, Pikachu shouted "Vaudeville!" and hopped out of the way with his stick, continuing his balancing act and keeping the stick vertically straight all the while. Falcon tumbled to the ground, dropping his charred stick in the meantime.

"Did I win?" Falcon asked, looking around. "What did I win?"

"You…" Leo started, before growling angrily and holding his forehead, closing his eyes. "Just go, Falcon."

"Oh! So I won time to remove my wedgie!" Falcon shouted happily. "Then I shall!" Falcon ran off, and nobody wanted to think about the image of him removing his wedgie he had just inserted into their minds.

**40 minutes later…**

Nobody had dropped their sticks since the incident with Falcon, though Pikachu occasionally broke the silence with a cry of "Vaudeville!" and a random stunt, typically a hop into the air or a spin across the small end of the stick.

"All right, time to heat things up!" Leo announced, pulling a whip out of his shell and cracking it obnoxiously. "Prepare for your hands to HURT!"

"Urgh…I'm not losin' out, skirt boy!" Wolf grunted, squinting angrily at Link.

"Same here, furry!" Link replied, tightening his knuckles to lighten the damage his hands would receive.

Leo approached Mario with the whip and smacked it across the back of his hands three times; Mario wasn't even fazed.

"What? Your hands are bleeding! Don't you hurt at all?" Leo asked, clenching his fists.

"Nope. Been whipped before." Mario said casually, and Leo shook his head, disturbed. He approached Pikachu, and flung the whip at him nine times. None of the strikes even hit Pikachu's skin, as Pikachu dodged all of it, sounding out "VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-VAUDE-villllleeee!" all the while.

"GRAAAUUUGGGGHHHH!" Leo yelled, gripping the whip very tightly. "You're kidding me!"

Leo ran over to Toon Link and gave a very hard strike across of the back of his left hand; with a yelp, Toon Link jumped back, dropping his stick. "That was NOT HAPP HAPPY, man!"

"FINALLY!" Leo screamed in satisfaction, looking up to the sky thankfully before repeating the whipping process on all the players' hands. Kirby, Yoshi, and Charizard (a dirty hit under the Pokemon's fingernail resulted in a Leo with second-degree burns) all went down, thus eliminating the whole Blue team and barely affecting Yellow; Pikachu showed no signs of tiring at all.

**One hour later…**

"All right, I'm gonna have to do something different!" Leo declared, cupping his hand over his mouth as he stored the whip back in his shell. "I'll pull out the big guns!"

"GUNS?" Mario screeched, dropping his stick and leaping into the air immediately.

"SLAAAAAVE!" Peach screamed, her breath dripping with acid rage.

"N-No, I didn't m-mean to! I r-really didn't!" Mario begged, shaking his head in an attempt to get Peach to change her mind.

"I'll kill you, slave!" Peach informed him, raising her stick. A desperate Mario quickly moved his chain leash to the side and knocked Peach's stick out of her hand. Peach gazed in shock and Mario gazed in horror as the stick fell down to the grass. Everyone else, even Pikachu, changed their attention to the Red team.

"You…" Peach began, shaking crazily. "You made us lose, slave. YOU MADE US _LOSE_, SLAVE!"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sor-"

"SORRY WON'T CUT IT!" Peach yelled, dragging Mario away as he whined and clawed at the ground.

_Remaining Players:  
Pikachu  
Link  
Snake  
Pit  
Wolf_

"…Getting back to those big guns, I'll get Crazy Hand to assault you! Out in the open!" Leo said cheerily. Everyone but Snake and Pit widened their eyes in shock.

"N-n-no, please!" Link begged, his face pleading. "I'll do ANYTHING. Not him! You can taser us or something, but don't get Crazy Hand!"

"Sorry, but that's the way the wind blows." Leo said smoothly, before snapping his fingers and summoning Crazy Hand. The gigantic hand flew up, hissing sharply.

"Sic 'em!" Leo yelled. Crazy Hand went for Pit, punching him and poking him over and over on the torso, making him drop his stick from the force of it.

"I suppose 'dang' is the best word for this." Pit said, in his usual dull way.

"I won't lose to you, Wolf!" Link yelled, holding up his stick and swiping in Crazy Hand's direction. His attention spurned, Crazy Hand turned to the elf, and Link pointed towards Wolf.

"Get him right now!" Link ordered. Surprisingly, Crazy Hand complied, rushing towards Wolf and pushing him away, sending him and his stick in different directions.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, PRETTY BOY!" Wolf yelled, waving his fist as he hit the ground and Crazy Hand continued his assault on him.

_Remaining Players:  
Pikachu  
Link  
Snake_

"Last three players in the challenge, eh?" Leo asked rhetorically, looking upwards thoughtfully. "Huh…oh! I know!"

"VaaauuuuUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH!" Pikachu screamed, looking in horror as a Ditto appeared before him, and instantly morphed into him.

* * *

"MAKE IT STOP LOOKING LIKE ME!" Pikachu screeched, pointing to the morphed Ditto in terror.

"Oh, gosh." Red sighed, shaking his head as he got out the straitjacket.

* * *

A cardboard cutout of Psycho Mantis was thrown in front of Snake, and the spy gasped, holding an arm over his face.

"YOOOOUUUUUUU." Snake said dramatically, breathing in a strained way.

* * *

"STOP! MOVING! MY! CONTROLLER!" Snake screeched, scooting along the floor and holding his head.

"Um…Snake? What controller?" Campbell asked, tapping his intercom. "Is this thing malfunctioning or something?"

"MY GAMING MEMORIES! DEFILED BY ESP! OH, THE AGONYYYYY!" Snake yelled.

Campbell took the intercom and looked it over, turning it, completely bewildered.

* * *

A cardboard cutout of Zant appeared in front of Link, and Link's eyes widened.

"Creepyman?" Link whispered, his face horrified.

"Um…yes! I am Creeeepyyyymaaaan!" Leo said spookily, in a bad imitation of Zant's voice.

"NOOOOOO!" Link screamed, curling up in the fetal position and sucking his thumb, rocking back and forth. This made him drop his stick.

"The entirety of Cabin 1 is GONE! Out of the challenge!" Leo announced, as Zelda smacked her face, Peach continued choking Mario, and Pit and Toon Link kept watching "Happy Days," much to Pit's chagrin.

"You won't win, Mantis!" Snake said, completely unhinged as he twitched, barely keeping from dropping his stick. "I WON'T LET YOU INFECT MY SOLDIER'S MIIIIIIND!"

Pikachu clung to his stick, shivering. "Stop…looking…like…MEEEEE!"

"Who will win?" Leo asked, exhilarated. "The crazy mouse, or the crazy man? The eternal struggle, ladies and gentlemen!"

Suddenly, one stick dropped to the ground, raising a cloud of dirt.

Pikachu ran off, screaming "STOOOOOP LOOKING LIIIIIIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Purple team, for the second time in a row, wins the Endurance mission!" Leo announced, much to Charizard's dismay.

"Pikachu! How could you lose that for us?" Charizard asked, in his usual raspy voice. "Purple winning again? I hate those guys!"

"For some reason, I feel like joining a Vaudeville production." Pikachu said absentmindedly.

"Yes! This is great, Snake!" Meta Knight cheered, running back out to the grass to congratulate Snake. "You managed to overcome your fear of Mantis and we have control of the Samahdi again!" Snake grabbed that and the Discipline piece from Leo's arms, and gave them to Meta Knight before speaking.

"Mantis?" Snake asked, scoffing. "I have never heard of this 'Mantis' you speak of."

Meta Knight paused. "Um…Snake? They put a cardboard cutout of the guy in front of you and you started spazzing out? You don't remember that?"

"Meta Knight, you are delusional." Snake informed him, in an unusually calm manner. "Maybe I should admit you to an asylum." Snake thought for a moment. "OR PERHAPS I SHOULD SHOVE A TAR-COVERED KNIFE DOWN YOUR THROAT. THAT WOULD FIX YOU UP."

Meta Knight facepalmed.

**30 minutes later, behind the cabins...**

"I say we give it to Green." Meta Knight suggested. "Link proved he was a real threat in today's challenge. Plus, we should still keep an eye on Yellow. They did really good today."

"I WANT TO GIVE IT TO BROWN." Snake argued, looking at Meta Knight meanly. "THERE IS A NAZI ON THEIR TEAM. WE CANNOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY."

"Um…Snake?" Meta Knight said warily. "There are no Nazis in this game. At all. Or terrorists, for that matter."

Snake's eyes widened, and his shoulders started to shake with fury. "YOU TOLD ME THERE WAS A TERRORIST ON THE YELLOW TEAM!"

"Well, yes, that may be true, but-"

Snake picked Meta Knight up and kept him hovering at eye level, as Snake's ragged breaths hit Meta Knight's armor. Meta Knight groaned and wriggled, trying to escape Snake, but to no avail.

"TELL ME THERE ARE NAZIS IN THIS GAME!"

"There are no Nazis!" Meta Knight said with difficulty.

"THERE ARE INDEED NAZIS HERE! NOW SAY IT!"

"There aren't any Nazis!"

"ARE YOU A NAZI? DEFENDING YOUR GERMAN BUDDIES, EH, NAZI? I WILL KILL JOO, FOO'!"

"Let me go, Snake!" Meta Knight begged, thrashing around in Snake's grasp.

"STOP DEFENDING THE NAZIS!"

"I'm not defending the Nazis!"

"STOP DEFENDING THE NAZIS OR A MISSILE AND YOUR FACE WILL BECOME MUCH CLOSER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED!"

"Arrghhh!" Meta Knight moaned.

Meanwhile, everyone else was having marshmallows in front of the cabins, and stared at the back area due to the noise coming from there.

"Hey, uh, somebody go check that out!" Falcon commanded, pointing to the shaded area behind the cabins.

"Why can't you do it?" Wolf asked sourly.

"Because…um…I am Falcooooooooooooon incapacitated!" Falcon said with hesitation.

"You look HAPPYYYY I'M SO VERY HAPPY okay to me." Toon Link noted, tilting his head at Falcon in confusion.

"Um…hey, Zelda! I bet a master…brainteaser…maker is, um…back there!" Falcon said dodgily. "Go see 'im!"

"Really? Mr. Fontaine Chalkman?" Zelda asked excitedly, standing up and running to the area. "I'm coming, Fontaine Chalkman!"

Falcon wiped the sweat from his forehead and sounded out a "Phew."

In the meantime, Zelda peeked over at the spectacle between Snake and Meta Knight, which was still going on.

"NOW, LISTEN, I WILL GET A PLASMA CUTTER ON YOU IF YOU DON'T SAY THERE ARE NAZIS HERE, AND YOU, AN UNPATRIOTIC PUFFBALL, ARE DEFENDING THEM!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE AREN'T AND I'M NOT! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?"

"MY PROBLEM IS EVIL TERRORISTS! YOU ARE CLEARLY ONE!"

"Ummm…hi?" Zelda asked sheepishly.

Snake turned to her with bloodshot eyes, while Meta Knight's eyes were helpless.

"HOW DARE YOU, PRINCESS GIRL!" Snake screeched. "THIS IS A PRIVATE, NATIONAL SECURITY-MINDED CONVERSATION! THAT'S IT, YOU AND SKIRT BOY GET THE SAMAHDI!"

"What?" Zelda questioned, shocked.

"LET'S GO MEET LEO RIGHT NOW! I KNOW MY DECISION!" Snake announced, storming past Zelda and dropping Meta Knight, who clambered up to Snake's side and walked alongside him.

In five minutes…

"Huh? You guys?" Leo asked quizzically, raising an eyebrow as he saw the teams come in, Purple team leading the pack.

"WE HAVE MADE A DECISION." Snake informed Leo.

"Oh…uh, 'kay, then, let's start," said a confused Leo, as everyone sat down on their respective stumps.

"Purple team, who have you chosen for the Samahdi?" Leo asked professionally.

"The Gree-" Meta Knight began.

"THE GREEN TEAM." Snake cut in.

"All righty, then, Green, take the Samahdi." Leo ordered. Zelda slowly took the clay pot from Snake and held it in front of Link. Link laughed giddily as he stabbed it, and yanked his sword back out, a piece of paper speared onto the blade.

"Read it." Leo said.

Link slid the paper off the sword blade, unfolded it, and looked it over, his eyes following the words' pattern on the paper.

"'Not any performance will suffice, when you are hurling barrels of rice. You'll scream, you'll bite, you'll gnash, you'll lunge, but first you have to take a plunge.'" Link recited. "What a crappy poem."

"Shut up. Anyway, basically, you've gotta…well…take a plunge before the Temple mission tomorrow." Leo said, re-stating the obvious. "Hope you like it…nee hee hee!"

"Um…what's with the creepy laugh?" Zelda asked, recoiling her head back from Leo.

"Huh? That's just for effect." Leo told her. "Now, go back to the cabins! I have Hamtaro manga volumes to read!"

Though most everyone looked at him strangely, they complied with Leo's request, and left.

"Ooh, go, Hamtaro, dance that dance! Dance that dance!"

_Sorry, it was a bit of a wait for this one. Reviews would be swell, and always remember to_

_~Stay awesome_


End file.
